At The Diner With AzaleaMarch 11, 2010 · Posted in Parenting, Preschoolers, Relationships · Permalink
At the Diner with Azalea
by Bethany Saltman

Across from us are two women, of the same age, both a little rough, sad even, probably lovers, for a long time. They open their menus and one silently closes hers: the decision maker. The other just isn’t sure what she’s in the mood for. She just had a ham and cheese omelet yesterday and the day before, too! So it is, she says, as she closes hers.
Azalea and I argue over something. Probably apple juice.
I keep kind of staring at the omelet lady. I can’t help it. I’m intrigued. Three days in a row is a lot of omelets! Will she be happy with it when it comes? My own body buzzes with that wild pleasure of waiting for something I know I love.
So often it’s something salty on a plate, but it could also be the warm, wide face of someone who will share my burden. Or it could be the quiet that barely exists when I walk into the house by myself, unencumbered by people or tasks. Or the milky pee smell of Azalea as she awakens from rest.
Alone—the meal, the husband, the house, or child— they all turn on their own axis, filling their exact shape in space. When we meet, it’s not that those bodies change or enlarge to include me, but something happens between us and it all disappears. And it’s that blank space that I really long for between the pages of every menu, on the brink of every thing.
